spot me some flowers

quick nail post ^_^

--yes... i should be studying =="

when i grow up i want to be just like them

So... again.. when i should probably be studying...

i had a skype date with the other half yesterday and we were perving on korean girls.. specifically..

Sistar

F (x)

and Kara

*swoons*

seriously.. i'd like to know where they get their ridiculously beautiful flawless skin. my mother always saids it's because they eat healthy bla bla bla. never eat oily foods and clean their faces.. my koreanpop enthusiasts say it's all plastic surgery.. but it doesn't explain how they have such pretty skin! i mean.. sure.. nose fixed.. eyes cut.. but.. THE SKIN!
so.. guess who.. of all people.. told me about.. BB cream. le fiancé. (don't ask me how he knows) =="
apparently.. it's all the range in Korea and Japan.. it's only recently been brought into the light for western countries.

thanks to a good friend who was originally just showing me a wedding blog.. i started following XiaXue. and i remember seeing an advertorial about Garnier's Miracle Skin Perfector so. i thought i'd give it a go.

(please excuse the poor camera quality)

i have this theory that if i eat nothing but kimchi and rice for the next 3 months.. get my eyes cut. get on this BB Cream stuff. wear colored contacts and stick on some eye lashes.. i'd look just like them. hahaha with less than half the talent and a quarter of the looks hahahahhahaaha xD

--will update after tuesday when i wear this bad boy out to class for my first exam and girl date with my cousin :)



things have been really great the past couple of days. especially after our mental breakdown at the beach. i guess all the anticipation for this trip is finally hitting us.

SO.. after lots of.. arguing.. and fussing.. and stressing.. i think we've finally come to a conclusion as to have a fancy wedding come March.. and have dinners in Perth.. Malaysia and Sydney.
seeing as.. my family and friends are in Sydney.. and his family and friends are scattered in Perth and Malaysia.. it some what made sense to have it this way.. our entire relationship has been really strange from the start.. so having 3 wedding receptions isn't so weird right? of course not.. just means i have to stress about catering and functions and invites more than once =="

BUT.. this means.. i get to have the dress i wanted now.. muahahhahaa. which means i have to sell the one i have now hiding at my friend Emma's place. and start thinking about decorations for the function hall. and a legit photographer and all that jazz.

jokes aside. i'm really excited about everything. mostly about being sure about something now. no more of this second guessing or uncertainty about whether or not we should get married because of all the dramas we've been through. it's nice to have something stable for once. something that i know is secure.

now.. off to pretend to study and actually absorb the shit i'm reading. blah.

studying hard... or hardly studying

my first attempt at drip nails ^_^

i have 4 exams coming up in the next 2 weeks.. and i should probably be panicking by now.. but all i can think about is the wedding and my trip to perth in about.. 12 days...

so much to do in so little time. i just hope everything will be ok :)

love what you have

today was his last day in sydney before he went back to perth so he spent the morning with me.

we had a lunch date at Ramen Kan

roamed Pitt St Mall a little bit then headed to Bondi Beach for the art sculptures

came home with a red face. ugh.. so sunburnt.. need to invest in a pretty sun hat.


we had a talk while we were on the beach waiting for his friends.. we've been fighting these last couple of days..
the whole.. singapore anniversary... not knowing whether or not we should get married because of all the arguments we've been having (mostly me thinking that).. and just.. so much uncertainty with how to start our lives together.
the root of all our problems is from the singapore discrepancy. i never fully had a chance to get over it. and he didn't get a proper chance to make it up to me so to speak. because of our distance.. and all the times we were together.. we were too desperate to be happy together because it was for such a short amount of time.. that we never got a chance to fix our problems.
but. he knows how i feel towards him. and we both know how hard its been for the both of us. more so. we know what we want out of this. and hope to work towards our happiness together.

--2 weeks till perth!

oh i get by with a little help from my friends

girl date with le bestie today

lunch at Moo Burgers

sweet stop at CoCo Noir

a pitt stop at illamasqua for some color and all in all a good day out :)

salacious

--tomorrow is the anniversary of when he left for singapore.. and it's hitting me pretty hard. for a while it didn't come up. and i haven't thought about it much.. till our fight when he was in sydney. it's been the root of all our arguments and frustrations. sometimes i wonder.. if i can't get over it.. we will never truly be happy.

i'm about 2 glasses of wine in.. and i'm a little woozy. but still coherent. emotions at its peak though.. especially with my lady visitor... i don't know what to do.. i'm just.. angry and upset all the time lately. maybe i'm stressed with assessments and exams. or maybe i'm in denial about all the problems he and i have and have yet to fix. idk. it's just a mind fuck. i don't know how i'm going to get through the rest of this year...

but.. i'll take whatever moment of happiness i can take for now. and take it as it comes.

rage post

this is going to be a rage post tonight.

he's in town this week. it was meant to be a boys trip for him and his mates. but two of them bailed because of work obligations. so then there were three...

i saw him saturday which was very nice. we had lunch together with his friend and we went out that night with my cousin and one of my friends.

for the next couple of days.. he's spending it with his mates. he invited me to some of their shindigs but i have exams and papers coming out of my ears. so i had to decline.. but that's not the drama. the drama is.. months earlier.. i used to go out with my girlfriends.. every now and then we'd get together have dinner and go out to a bar for some drinks than karaoke or clubbing depending on their moods. and of course.. every single time that i went.. he and i would get into a fight. massive screaming fight over the phone. about how i get ditched and that he's worried i wouldn't make it home in one piece.. because apparently ALL girls who go out at night get abducted and raped. but mind you.. i'd be in the car on my way home by the time this interrogation happens. so what is it that you're really upset about.

well.. last couple of weeks including this trip... he's been going to bars and clubs because of friends going away or friends having new jobs.. the excuses are endless. and it's ok for him to go. but if the tables were turned.. he would have gone bat shit crazy at me. fcuking hypocrite.
whenever i say something about it.. he tries to bring up all the other times that i've gone out. yeah well.. i didn't do what you did all those times i went out. so if you're trying to nit pick about what we did back then.. you're not going to win. ever. (times like this. makes me wonder if we're really ready to get married. still both so immature and reckless.) i only think it's fair that if he goes out. so can i. but he thinks i'm doing it in spite of him... so it's ok for him to not have a say in where his friends want to go.. but that couldn't possibly ever happen for me.

*sighs*

a lot more is riding on this trip at the end of the year than i had anticipated. i was excited about it then.. but now i'm just stressed and.. almost dreading it. and it's pretty scary to think this trip will make or break our relationship and determine whether or not we get married. because.. there is only 2 outcomes that can happen with this trip. either we end up married... or never speak to or see each other ever again.

girls day

hung out with an old friend today.. most honest easy and relaxed fun i've had in a while.

i had uni that morning.. so on the way over i picked up some charcoal chicken from El Jannah

we sat around talking bullshit as per usual.. mindless rants about first world problems while watching Mad Men on the PS3... painted our nails...

  

i think i did a pretty good job if i do say so myself :)

case of the ex.

i'm pretty sure i speak for most people out there who are in relationships with this post...

most if not all of my relationships that i have been in have had fights which dealt with an ex. whether it be my ex. or my partners ex. don't be so foolish as to think just because you've met someone else that either of your pasts won't somehow come back at some point to try and complicate things. (and if you're the select few that haven't had this issue.. consider yourselves lucky).

we've both had our fair share of baggage come up during our relationship (you'd think after so long that the other person would have let go by now.. not so much). and thanks to the world wide web and social media it is how so much easier to stalk people.

example: even if you change your number or blocked them on all your messenger apps. they try to contact you through email. every email they could possibly conjure up. or.. resort to facebook to try and get a hold of you. i'll tell you where i saw this happen.
as per usual when you're together you use every means possible to be "connected to them". ie: facebook. and when you break up.. you usually delete them just so they can't pry into your current life or.. the rare.. mutual breakup where you can be friends and all that other crap.. which everyone knows.. it's almost impossible to be friends with an ex.. i mean.. come on.. i've seen you naked.
anyways.. so the boy and his ex i assumed weren't "facebook friends" since they had broken up.. and that was well over a year and a half ago. so guess who adds ME on facebook? NOT her... get this.. she had her friend do it. !!! first of all.. they have no mutual friends.. so how does she know about me.. let alone.. to find me on facebook.. (creepy)

of course.. with my.. hormonal ridiculousness i thought too much into it.. and conjured up this intricate scenario in my head and assumed the worst. --has he been talking to her? --has he been in touch with my some other girl that was/is her friend? who knows.. again.. ridiculousness.
i think part of the mental breakdown was also.. it's coming up to the anniversary of his trip to singapore last year *shudders* either way.. we had an emotional breakdown over it. and i was too stubborn to give in. and he didn't understand why i was upset over it at all.. all crazy.
as per usual.. the exchange of fighting words.. then the silence of defeat.. and eventually whispering "i love you"... he makes my heart melt every time.

this picture pretty much sums up our relationship. he makes me absolutely nuts. but i love him... for some reason =="

cake batter nails

 

glitter gradient madness